Hiya cupcake!

Boxed cake mix isn't my thing. I'm never impressed. But sometimes it is what I have on hand and have time for.  A trick to improve them:  Throw in an appropriate flavored jello pudding and an extra egg. It makes the cake lighter and moister.
These are made from a french vanilla cake mix with a box of french vanilla pudding thrown in and the aforementioned extra egg.
What this project was really about today was to have something to put icing on. I  just was in the mood for frosting.  So I tried a version of a quick vanilla buttercream frosting.  It turned out great and really was super easy.

Ingredients:
 3 cups confectioners sugar
1 cup room temperature butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or another extract in a flavor you love)
1-2 Tablespoons of whipping cream

On low- mix together sugar and butter.  Once it's blended, increase the speed to medium and beat for 2-3 minutes.  Then add the extract and cream and beat for another minute until it's the consistency you like.
For the pink ones shown here - i added Marichino cherry juice for color.. it added a hint of flavor, but not enough to matter. A cherry liqueur would have worked better but this is what we had.

The best part = watching my kids faces when they licked the beaters or the icing off the cake. Total fun.

Drive through annoyances...

Dear Taco bell drive through employees,
Just to be clear about our interactions:
When I pull up and you ask me "How are you today?"
 I assume you are asking me how I am.  And so, I will tell you how I am, and then, because you seem to be trying to start some kind of relationship, I will ask you "and how are you?"
 This is called "politeness" or an even bigger word "etiquette."  FYI.
If after I ask "and how are you?" you say nothing
really nothing- not a sound--then I have no idea what is supposed to happen next.
Is our relationship over?  Do you want met to order?  Are you distracted? Are you high and having a party back there?  Did the machine I am talking to and staring at desperately  break?  I don't know.  I just am left wondering- what the hell is happening here?
so let me ask are you familiar with the term "rudeness"? I think you are.
 I'd like to suggest that next time- you just cut to the chase.  Let's skip this awkward non-relationship forming and ridiculous chitchat that has no purpose.  let's acknowledge that you and i are not friends, we haven't met and most likely you do not care about how I am doing.  I am sure you are not doing well, overall, because you are at work, people are mean, and your job often sucks.
so let me suggest that you start by saying:   "May I take your order" or really-- just say ANYTHING THAT IS HELPFUL!!!  and i will respond by placing my order for some really cheap yet crappy food.
If you do not do this next time (and I assume you won't) I will assume that our current system is not working and I will take this as a final sign from God that i should not be eating at Taco bell.  Sad for both of us really.  Cheap, crappy, but delicious.  Sad to lose you.
All of that said, I do hope that you are well and that this might help both of us get through our day quickly and easily with less relational mess.
Sincerely and hopefully yours,
Jacquie

PS_ Chic-fil-a employees who read this-- just know that when I say "thank you" , and you say "my pleasure"- i also know it is not usually a pleasure and your forced to say that, but that is a system I can live with.

Easier Than You'd Think

My mom has a lot of great stories about her time in nurses training school.  She was there in the late (very late) 1950's and it was definitely a different era.  From what I can tell, women smoked and drank a lot then, had a really good time with their girlfriends and broke a lot of rules... oh wait- that may not be so different.

Well, one thing that was different is that a required part of her nurse training included a "nutrition" course.  I put that in quotes because they had a hellofa different view of what "nutrition" meant.  Mom did not excel at the "Nutrition" course because it was really a basic cooking course that included some odd skill-sets and my mom would rather be out swimming, camping or partying with her girlfriends than trapped behind a stove.  I would have LOVED this part of her training.
It turns out -- they taught her how to make souffles.  Seriously.  Souffles were essential to good nursing (remind me some time to tell you her story of how they cooked a whole chicken in an autoclave-- yep-- that's the machine they used to sterilize surgical tools, and blow up their dinners.  that's right. she blew up a chicken)
Anyhow- back to the souffle:

 Are souffles great nutrition??  Probably not.
But, because of this experience, when I decided I wanted to make souffles, but was concerned they'd be too challenging, my mom was quick to tell me that they would NOT be a problem for me.  She thought it was completely within my cooking abilities.
 But I had been led to believe from a variety of 1970's & 80's sitcoms and movies that souffles were very complicated and would "fall" really easily.
Well, television has told me many lies, but this is among the biggest and my mother was right.
A souffle is easier than you'd think.
I made these chocolate ones for Scott's Birthday last week- and they were truly the most delicious dessert I've ever made.  So tasty, light, fantastic texture, truly chocolaty flavor-- this is my new favorite thing.

delicious beyond measure

I am not a huge fan of Emeril, but i love his Chocolate Souffles:

Ingredients

• 3 teaspoons butter, room temperature
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 12 ounces semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
• 6 large egg whites
• 5 large egg yolks
• 1/3 cup Grand Marnier

Directions

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Butter 6 individual ramekins. Sprinkle each ramekin with 1 teaspoon sugar. In a large metal bowl, set over a pot of simmering water, melt the chocolate, whisking it occasionally. Remove the bowl from the heat. In a mixing bowl, whisk the egg whites with 1/4 cup of the sugar until stiff and glossy. Whisk the egg yolks into the chocolate one at a time, add the Grand Marnier, and whisk in the remaining sugar. Fold in the egg whites and blend until smooth. Pour the chocolate mixture into the prepared ramekins. Place the ramekins on a baking sheet and bake until they are puffed and somewhat firm, about 20 to 25 minutes. Remove from the oven and serve with the chocolate sauce listed below--and powdered sugar if you want it...

Chocolate Sauce:

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup half-and-half
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1/2 pound semisweet chocolate chips
• 1/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Directions:

Combine the half-and-half and butter in a small heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Heat the mixture until a thin paper-like skin appears on the top. Do not boil. Add the chocolate and vanilla and stir until the chocolate melts and the mixture is smooth. Remove from the heat and let cool or don't-- just dump it on whatever you love... it's soooo good!!!

Anyhow- hope you get a chance to make these- they are wonderful, and let me repeat,  EASY!

Another Funny (translated:ODD) Week as a Kindergarten Parent

Two weeks ago Ike did his first oral presentation to the Kindergarten classes and the parents who came to "Cultural Heritage Week".  Last week he had a "lead" role in his class play "Horton Hatches an Egg".
He played Maize, the lazy bird who didn't want to sit on her egg, and instead, convinced Horton the Elephant to sit on the egg for her so that she could vacation in Florida.


Several thoughts occur to me regarding this:

*In Kindergarten, I memorized the pledge of allegiance, learned to tell left from right (mostly), learned to color and count, and some other basics that I vaguely remember about being a 4/5 year old.  I'm pretty sure I didn't memorize a 12 minute long play, nor give an oral presentation.  In fact, I'm feeling both a little jealous and a little relieved about that even now...

*Ike's teacher is a funny woman.  She will definitely have a hard time figuring out Ike's parents.  Really, I think we are an odd pair in her world or she and I just have some different assumptions about the world.  Example:  After the play was over Miss A. sidled over to me and in a hushed voice said that she was worried Scott and I might be upset about Ike playing a "girl's part" in the play.  She then explained apologetically that he was the only one willing to play Maize, none of the girls would play her and he really seemed to want to... so, she hoped Scott and I weren't upset.  This caused me to give a "Courtney-esque" out-loud cackle of a laugh.  I'm hoping I said something appropriate after I laughed, but I'm not sure that I did.
Seriously.  Playing a "girl part" is not a concern for us.  Not even a little.  And we have lots of things to be concerned about for Ike: his short attention span and the trouble it gets him into in school, his offbeat sense of humor, what jr high will be like for him (and us), getting him to occasionally eat a protein at dinner and to go to bed on time once in a while...  These are things I am concerned about.  But playing a "girl" part.  Why would I be worried about that?  And I just gotta say that IF I thought it would turn him gay (I assume this is what the parents who would be concerned are worried about??),  well IF I thought it would turn him gay-- then we'd enroll him in a girl's parts only theatre group!   I didn't tell her this because I didn't want to scare her (yet).  But if I were to explain our thoughts on this I would tell her how very much I'd love our son to turn out like any one of the FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC gay men I work with and count as friends... Mark, Cody, Kendal, David, and the list of amazingly strong and gifted gay men in my world goes on--- but--sadly---playing a girl bird in a play WON'T turn him gay... really.
And again, let me add that playing a "girl" part or a "boy" part doesn't matter to Scott and I nearly as much as the amount of homework we have to do with him due to the number of public speaking engagements this 6-year-old has had at school these last two weeks.  Sheesh!  And let's face it-- whatever part he plays, he will love it, especially if he gets to wear a multi-colored feather boa--and we will love to watch him because he's ours.


*Finally-- I think that Maize bird the lazy bird was onto something.
Flying off to Florida and letting someone else do the work and then also get the credit, well, that doesn't sound so bad to me...
yeah, I know, in the end when the egg hatches, it looks like an elephant-bird, and I guess that Horton has to, is forced to, gets to keep it... but I'm not sure Maize wasn't getting the better end of the deal.

I am not talking about my kids here- I sat on those eggs and hatched them myself (with a little help from my friends) and wouldn't trade them NOR the work and growth I experienced during those pregnancies for anything-----but I am thinking about my actual work.  I think I can honestly say-- I'm almost ready to give up my work, even though I know that this will mean some serious loss.  I think I am getting ready to bless someone else with the joy of this ministry and all of the amazing opportunities it affords.  It's like- reverse nesting... I'm dismantling my own nest and hoping to make the pieces available for the next bird if they want any of them.
Soon- someone else will nurture what was a bird into an elephant-bird and it will be something wholly new and exciting-- with a bit of what WAS in it, and a bit of something completely NEW!  That's exciting.
And, i really am ready to fly off to palm beach!!!

Maize-- pour us some Daiquiri's honey... In July- I'm headed your way....

A few things I learned at the manicurist...

In January my thumbnails started splitting back really far. It was awful, and painful and I wanted it fixed and I also wanted my nails to look long and pretty like they used to... So I started going to a local strip mall "Nails" place to get acrylic nails.  I'm not sure if it even has a name-- it may just be "nails/OPEN"...
They are near my starbucks and in a relatively comfortable setting, so, that's where I go.
But now that I've been going to get my nails done for the last 8 or so weeks, I've learned a few things.

1.  Pretty things sometimes cost money or take time or both.  Be prepared to pay and lose your most precious commodity: time
2.  Sometimes you are caught in a vicious cycle- either accept it, or don't, but there's no point in bitching about it unless you are trying to change it (fake nails need maintained- every two weeks- ugh).
3.  If you've spent a lot of time choosing something and planning and you've picked a nice safe color that is appropriate for meetings and your job, and you go there on a cold and dreary night--- then you should probably NOT stare at the pretty, bright, fun, easter,spring colored, shiny, pink bottle that the person before you used and that is sitting there next to your "business casual" mauve.  Cause at the last minute your stupid -whimiscal-split personalitied "P" type self might take over and when she says "this you color? "- you'll say-- "... ummmm.....NO!  let me try THAT one!"
 and then you will end up the next day having regrets about the hideous, 1980's, neon, pinkish, weird, obnoxious color you are stuck with until you want to pay $6 to get the boring mauve you'd originally spent 10 minutes choosing put on in place of the "sluts of the 80's pink" you'll be wearing to teach youth ministry this week.
Oh yes,  morning after regrets are for more than just sex. Really-- I can regret ALL SORTS OF STUFF!!
like this:

and they're even tackier in person...

Back to just a few more lessons:

4.  Men who come into get their nails done at a strip mall in lancaster, pa,  are only there to hit on the pretty asian girls, not because they really like manicures...
5. these men are creepy..
6. and gross... so... avoid them... cause... ICK!!!

7. The Asian women who are looking at you and talking in Vietnamese (?) and giggling are not necessarily talking about you. or laughing at you..

8. well not necessarily, but probably. yes, probably they are...

9.  people who are paranoid and insecure should learn to speak vietnamese before going to the "nails/OPEN" store.

10.  I am signing up for Vietnamese lessons next week.

Good night friends-- and stop laughing at me.
:P

Hola and a whole MESS of Scones, from England.

So, This week Ike had his first school project due. He is in Kindergarten. When we were in kindergarten we didn't have homework, and we for sure did not have any major projects due, but these are different times I am told.

So he had to research his "cultural heritage." Can you say "mutt?", yeah, I knew you could.

We do know for sure that my father's side of the family came over on the Mayflower and one of the ships shortly thereafter (our descendant from the Mayflower was Richard Warren and his daughter Elizabeth is my great-great-great, keep on going, great grandmother. She married a Richard Church who came over several boats later and "Voila!"--- a dumbass family of hillbillies is descended out of England (oh, be proud Brits, be proud).

On my mother's side we knew that her dad claimed some Scotts-Irish heritage (last name Moore-- sounds like Scottish or Irish to us) and so-- I like to claim those sides now that we have a red-head. Did you know btw- that Scottland has more red-heads than any other part of the world? Yup! So says culture grams, which brings me back to Isaac's project.

Because we (ike too) have been to England, we decided to go that route for this project. Could have gone to the Young's German side, but no- we went to jolly old England...

On Monday we had to work at home in the evening on facts about England (or the UK? I'm still not sure what the assignment was)... and then Ike had to work at school several days this week so that he could give a verbal report today to the whole kindergarten class and several amused parents. Intense project for kindergarten in my opinion.

Isaac did a great job speaking, in fact, the video is at the end of this post-- but -- there are two things to note about this fun-for-all (sarcasm) project:

1) I have not been home all week and had NO IDEA what he was going to say or what our responsibility was

and

2) My spouse wasn't sure what the details were- but we knew I was supposed to bring scones. Cause he's signed me up to bring them.

So-- last night we made scones. Not thousands, but a big batch. A pod of scones? a herd of scones? a colony of scones? A murder of scones? well it was a whole MESS of scones. And they turned out great. I used an Ina Garten recipe that you can find here:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/cranberry-orange-scones-recipe/index.html

and I used zante currants instead of cranberries cause that's what we had. They were delicious..

But back to point number 1. Isaac hadn't told us what he was going to say, and last night I found out that he thought the name of the country was London. Really.

I don't even know how that could be since he'd spent at least 3 DAYS working on this!!! But- sure 'nuff, I spent last night teaching him to either claim England or the UK and stop saying he was from the country of London. We were both confused by the end of it and I had no idea what he might say today.

So this morning- -he gets up in front of the 3 kindergarten classes and he is the first of the Europe II group to speak, and he does a FANTASTIC job speaking.

He knew it was England, he described that they eat fish and chips and haggis, and the little foodie even remembered what haggis is (thank God we didn't sign me up to make that!!!! YUCK!)

He did a great job with one funny little exception. When he had to tell people what language people speak in England, he told everyone English... AND... wait for it..... wait for it.... Spanish. He then told everyone that in England they say Hola, and he made them repeat it.

"hola friends!", from the English. That's right- that's what my kid knows for sure.

Later I get to the "Cultural Heritage Luncheon" and find that one of the other mothers of one of the other 3 kids who claimed English heritage had also made scones. ugh.

She also happened to be ACTUALLY English. For Real. Born in London. Had the most beautiful accent and everything. For as insecure as I am - this was a moment for me.

I was like one of those knock-off Coach bags standing next to the real thing.

I was feeling pretty low at that point- what with the real british scones and her kid having told us all that the British say "Hello" and all--

until she told me two things that made my whole day--

First of all: She used a mix to make her scones that she bought at the grocery store. Yup. she bought a mix at safeway and she thought mine were better (love)... and she then won me over completely by saying we both should of just saved ourselves the work and bought a tin of biscuits (cookies ya'll) anyway.

Secondly-- Isaac had apparently gone up to her and told her that London was the capital and she said "I know I was born there"- and he said "great". I apologized to her for his weirdness and for the whole "hola" thing- and she said-- "no worries". Apparently all week her daughter has been telling the whole class that SHE had met the Queen of England and the queen had given her a bracelet.

Turns out that had happened this summer -- at a Maryland Renaissance Faire. :)

Her mother could NOT convince her that she hadn't met the actual queen. (again- LOVE!)

We commiserated on the brains of 6 year-olds and how lame both of our scones looked next to the Somosas, Fried Mangos, Swiss Chocolates and Sushi-- from the "cool cultures" and we called it a day.

So-- I'm going to go have myself some tea (no joke) and watch me some Dora the Explorer. Maybe she can teach me some more words to use the next time we are in England.

Hola friends!

Here's the video if you have a moment and want to see for yourself...

Lasagna, to eat it or wear it, either is joy (apparently)

So,  a few days ago we made a staple for both Scott and I when we were growing up: Lasagna.  Funny enough our moms had totally different approaches (this was the only thing my mom did that was sort of serious cooking-- she took loads of time to make a sauce from scratch and this was  a lovely little short cutted meal for my m-i-l who actually didn't even cook the noodles in her version!)-- both versions are delicious.  For some reason- Scott and I don't make either of them.  We have our own variation that we've come to love.  And so has Max as the picture shows....

Everything below her eyes:  her own terrible eating produced those results-- her forehead, well, that was her father's work... he felt like she might as well go all out (why should just her forehead be clean?)

This is our lasagna... it was even better than it looks and fed us for 3 meals

Ingredients:
Lasagna Noodles
Large jar of  spaghetti sauce (or- make your own)
Ricotta (16 oz) -- half that if you want a smaller lasagna, we have a LARGE dish there...
Mozzarella (16 oz) -- half that if  you want a smaller lasagna
Parmesan (1 cup or so)

1 small Zucchini (sliced thinly)
1 Small yellow squash (sliced thinly)
1 jar or mushrooms or a cup of cooked mushrooms
1 egg

we sometimes throw in leftover sausage or chicken if we have it, but we also like it just vegetarian

Cook the noodles according to package directions.  Meanwhile- mix together the ricotta, all but a handful of the mozzarella, egg and 2/3 of the Parmesan--- Plus any seasoning you like (we throw in some Italian seasoning, some salt, and pepper and sometimes a little onion powder).

Preheat oven to 375.
I like to oil the pan with olive oil...
(ours is a 13x9 inch deep stone lasagna pan- a glass or metal pan would work too)

When the noodles are cooked and cool enough to handle begin to layer.  I pour in a little sauce on the bottom, then 3-4 noodles, then 1/2 of the cheese mixture then 1/2 the veggies then 1/3 of the sauce.  Then one more time-- noodles, the rest of the cheese mixture (still reserving that initial 1/3 of the parm and  handful of mozz)....then the rest of the veggies, 1/3 of the sauce, then a final layer of noodles.  Top the lasagna with the remaining sauce and the leftover cheeses.  Bake covered with aluminum foil for 35 minutes - then remove the foil and bake another 15 minutes uncovered.  Cheesy, bubbling, and good.

Serve with fresh bread, European butter and a nice glass of something red.  enjoy!