A day in the life

Right now- a typical week for me looks like this:
SUNDAY:  arrive in York.
MONDAY:  Start at 9 am with 2 hours of meetings, then time in Leadership now offices, maybe a light lunch while working if there is time, 1-4, teaching, 4-5 LN offices or get Max, drive to spring grove, make or buy and eat dinner-- read to Max (if she is with me) and get her ready for bed, work for at least 3 hours prepping for class and responding to pressing emails.  Sleep from midnight until 6:00 or 6:30
TUESDAY:  drive back to Lancaster, max to daycare, meeting from 9-11 (eat during meeting), worship or back to office, prep for class.  Teach/facilitate from 1-6. Rush to pick up max on time, repeat evening from the night before.  or stay at LTS and work there from 7pm until I can't take it anymore.
WEDNESDAY: Class from 8:30-10:30, worship, work on leadership now stuff (usually meet with MegPeg over lunch if we can, or try to grab something to scarf down while working)  2:00-4 meetings (or tomorrow it will be from 1-4)... 4-6 coffee hour and sherry hour (try to do both if possible so that people know I care about both of my jobs)... then drive to Spring Grove or home to Derwood. THURSDAY: either work from home or from LTS ... pick Isaac up from bus stop, cook dinner, check in with scott and mom about what I've missed, find out about kindergarten and how it's going from Ike, then kids routine, baths, books, bed, Then work or collapse and cry on family's shoulders.
FRIDAY: work from home or take a half day if I am working on the weekend.  I have needed to work (in some way) all but one Sunday in the last 4.  This weekend, I will be leading a retreat all weekend.

Even when I am home. I have to work at night in order to develop lesson plans for classes and to grade papers and to keep up with the bare minimum (and that's all I am doing) of Leadership now stuff. And many of my friends want me to have dinner, coffee, lunch, and I try to squeeze those things in as I can, but it's getting too hard to keep that up! Really.  it's killing me...

Backwards or forwards, there is too much to read. 

So, this is one more post to point out the obvious-- it is not possible for one person to teach this many classes and direct a program and have a family and do all three well. It's not.  I am tired of reading. Tired of being away from family and just plain tired.  I plan to change that in the spring.  And I am starting a list of things to cook when the spring rolls around.  Perhaps I'll post that next time to give a little hope and something to dream about...

More wine and family please

So, I started this blog and called it bread wine and family. Mostly because of the religious significance of bread and wine and community in my mind, but also because hey-- it was going to talk about food, and family.  Here's what I think now though.  There should be more wine in this blog.

Today I posted something into a message on facebook that ended up being more of a deal than I thought it would.   In the end, a dear friend who loves me, in their desire to help me, wounded me greatly, and they'll never know that unless they read it here (which I doubt).  But it led me to this thought.  I don't have a lot of outlets for the incredible amount of stress I am under.  And my drug of choice is food.  And I am mostly ok with that.  I also like to relieve stress by spending time on line and reading a good book or magazine to be honest.  And occasionally knitting something or crocheting, painting, sewing, quilting, wood carving, shooting an air pistol, archery, sculpting, writing and just screwing around.
Those things help me relieve stress, feel like my real self, and make me a better person really.

Right now though.  I have no time for this stuff. Even this blog entry will make me feel tremendously guilty at the end of the day.  God forbid I take the time to meditate or take a bath even.  Dear God.  My life is ridiculous and I KNOW THAT!!  I don't need a critique of it.  That isn't even a little helpful.
What I want is time.  I really really want time. Time with family.  Time to read. Time to repair friendships. Time to have a meal that doesn't feel rushed.  And everytime I get 5 minutes of fun in a day-- I feel guilty about that time, and I am sick of that.  I want more time and time I don't have to feel bad about.
I want to care less about what other people think.
I want to do all sorts of cool things in DC. But that takes TIME!
 I want to go see the newseum.  Go into the Washington Monument. Wander every art museum for a whole day. Go to the park with my kids. Take Isaac to the American History Museum, take Max to the Mall and walk around.  I want to sleep next to my husband 5 nights a week (really, more than two would be great).
I want to see the Cherry Blossoms this spring.  I want to go visit Vineyards in Virginia and Maryland and do wine tours.  I want time dammit!!! And I want to know more about wine and I want to enjoy a glass of it now and then.  I want there to be more time for wine and family in my life.  I would like to go enjoy a glass right now...

I am sorry to have whined... but really.. I want more wine please.  
thanks...
Love,
the "half-life" tired spirit that currently is: jacquie

Grilled Cheese is not just for 2 year olds (but they like it too!)

So, we like a grilled cheese sandwich
Well, everyone but Mark.  Gosh I don't know what is wrong with my otherwise perfect brother in law, but cheese is not his thing.  It's like a birth defect of some kind, and we all just feel so sad for him.

Anyhow- back to the cheese.  We like grilled cheese- and for those of you from Lancaster County- here's how you do it:

Go to Panerra and buy a loaf of sourdough or asiago cheese bread.  Sure you could get other bread. But WHY would you? unless you are going to make it from scratch which is just a whole other level.
This is the easy yet delicious method- so trust me and just go to panerra and buy their bread and have them thinly slice it.

Then go to Central Market (best farmers Market in PA). And go the Weaver's stand and get 1lb of bacon, a hunk of sharp cheddar and some french brie.  Also - stop at one of the veggie stands and buy the best tomato you can find, some spinach, a pear, and well, whatever you would want stuffed in your grilled cheese.

Now - go home (or to your in-laws house) and cook that bacon (or make your husband do it- that's my usual approach) slice up your veggies and the cheese.
Butter 2 slices of bread and layer on whichever combination of cheeses and fruits or veggies you like.
Then grill on a hot grill until cheese is melty and the bread is browned and toasty.

My favorites were:  Brie on sourdough with bacon and pear.  That could have been even more delicious with a tablespoon of marmalade or some sort of fruit jam.

I also Loved the cheddar tomato and bacon- on either bread.
If you can get them to- make your in-laws provide some delicious white chicken chili to go with said sandwiches.  So so good.  Everyone-----the 2 year old, the three year old, the 6 year old, the 30 and 40 and 60 year old, the 72 year old-- EVERYONE- loved them.  Oh.  EXCEPT MARK!  cause he has a small birth defect.  Still - we love him.
Try it.  Grill some cheese with bacon. it'll rock your world.

Ummm.... got a problem maybe?

So, is anyone else concerned that I've only posted a handful of things in the last 6 months, but two of them already were crips?  Isn't that just weird/wrong?  That said-- I am going to try something with red meat or thai food or both in the next few weeks and also a chocolate mint torte (that i made a few times in high school and college to rave reviews, but need to make again to see if it was as good as we all remember)... and then... something with liquor. Them's the goals people, them's the goals.  And I need to let the crisps and brownies go for while.  Tough to do, but them's the goals!
BTW - the chocolate torte came to mind when I was interviewed for an article in the local paper recently... where I claimed that as one of my specialties.  Now there are people expecting it.  Sigh... wish I'd just claimed the dang brownies as my specialty.

Apple Crisp ala Scottie

So, we picked apples off of the apple tree in my mom's backyard.  It's completely loaded with apples and looks really beautiful.  We weren't sure that the apples would really be any good for a number of reasons, one of which is that there are lots of worms and bugs because we don't really do anything with the tree. Every couple of years a beloved friend comes and trims it (he knows about fruit trees) and then we get to watch it be pretty for a few more years.  But this was our first time successfully getting some apples that could be used for something.  So we thought about a pie, but Scott is not a pie fan with the exception of Tyler Florence's Ultimate caramel apple pie, which takes a TON of time (and we were too lazy and tired to do that).  He can live with a crisp (I don't get it, really, it's beyond me, but that's what he can live with).
So we made a little apple crisp. Turns out that I didn't miss having pie.

Here's our version of apple crisp:

Preheat oven to 350
grease a 9x14 inch baking dish

Mix together
8 or so apples peeled and sliced
1 cup of raisins (we like golden raisins)
1/3 cup of sugar
1 tsp nutmeg
2 tsp cinnamon
and the juice of 1 lime (or lemon- we like limes and they are just meant to keep the apples from turning brown)

for the topping:
again mix together
1&1/2 cups flour
1 cup oatmeal (quick cooking)
2/3 cup sugar
2/3 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp kosher salt

Cut in 1/2 lb of butter until butter is "pea sized" and mixed throughout...

Pour apples into baking dish and sprinkle the topping across the top.  Bake at 350 for an hour or so, until the topping is a golden brown and apples are soft and bubbling.
We enjoyed ours with some premium vanilla bean ice cream.  Warm apple crisp + cold ice cream= happy.  Great way to end a full and fun weekend.

The Mighty Brownie: King of Chocolate Baked Goods

So, you have heard me express my feelings about chocolate cake....harrumphhh.....  

But the brownie. Well it's the  KING of chocolate baked things.

 It is always perfection.

The best brownies ever are actually Courtney Harvey's brownies.  They involve almost no flour, 2 Cups of sugar and close to nine eggs I believe.  I tried to find a recipe like that-- but ended up with one that had 5 eggs and 2/3 cup flour ... still 2 cups of sugar tho!
So, these are not as good as Harvey's - but they are still mighty good and well worth the effort (until we wrestle that recipe out of her.)

I found the base for this on Epicurious, but couldn't help adapting it -- so here's my version:

2 sticks unsalted butter
8 Oz fine-quality bittersweet chocolate (no more than 60% cocao if marked)
2 Cups sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2-3 teaspoons instant espresso pwder mixed with 1 tablespoon hot water
5 large eggs
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup cocoa pwdr  (I mixed Hershey's dark which is a dutch-process pwder with regular cocoa pwder  
                about half and half).
1/2 teaspoon salt

4 oz. Semi-sweet chocolate chips if desired.

Preheat oven to 350˚. Butter and flour a 13x9 inch pan.

Melt butter and chocolate in a heavy saucepan over low heat, stirring, until smooth.  Remove from heat and cool to luke warm.  Whisk in sugar, vanilla, and espresso.  (this does NOT make the brownies taste like mocha or coffee, it simply brings out more of the chocolate flavor... really!)
Whisk in eggs, 1 at a time, until mixture is glossy and smooth.

Whisk together flour, cocoa powder, and salt, then whisk into chocolate mixture until combined.
sprinkle semi-sweet chips across the top if you just want even more chocolate in your chocolate.

Spread in pan and bake until a pick inserted in center comes out with crumbs, 25-35 minutes.  Don't over bake! This is what ruins a good brownie in my opinion... really, just check it and catch it when you just think they are starting to "set".
 Cool completely. Enjoy immensely.

Isaac agrees with the recipe and says "you should wait until they cool, so that they aren't too mushy."
 I on the other hand say... bring on the ice cream right now!
:)

What our Monkeys love...

My kids love bananas.  

Red bananas, yellow bananas, little bananas. 

Under ripe, overripe... my little monkeys love a banana. 

 It was even one of Ike's first words-- only he called then Baneenas.  So when he started talking more and would talk to his "Nanas" (grandmothers) he called them Neenas or Ninas (they each spell it differently).  And all of his cousins call them that too.  

So at our house there is much love for neenas and baneenas, and now for that special use of the way too ripe baneena:  Baneena bread (yeah, banana bread by any other name still tastes as sweet).  Maxie calls it banana cake, and I think she is on to something with that.  

Another odd note-- 

part of why I haven't made this before is that, when my dad retired he took to making banana bread.  A lot.  And when he got Alzheimer's disease, he made a loaf every 3 days or so (no joke) he didn't even let the bananas get ripe.  Well, we all got tired of banana bread, and we all dreaded seeing that loaf.  

It's been 5 years since anyone in my family made banana bread.  Dad is gone, and we are healing both from the loss and the damage that disease did to our relationships.  My kids had never had banana bread before, and dang it,  it's right up their alley.  And, I guess I'm ready to let go of some woundedness and bake things that are lovely and maybe reclaim a little of the Church family in me in the process.

So here was my first attempt at making my mom's recipe for banana bread, just like my dad made it so very many times. It's pretty standard, very little spice (cause that's how we always rolled at the Church household) and it is just delicious 

baneena-ey, cakey, goodness.

Baneena Bread:

1/2 cup oil

1 Cup sugar

2 eggs beaten

3 ripe bananas, mashed with a fork

2 Cups all purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3 Tbsp Milk

1 tsp Vanilla

Preheat oven to 350˚.  Grease and flour a loaf pan(9x5x3)

Beat oil and sugar together.  Add eggs and banana mash, beat well.  Add sifted dry ingredients, milk, and vanilla.  Mix well.  Pour into the loaf pan and bake in preheated oven for about 1 hour.  Cool well and store overnight before cutting ( though we couldn't wait that long, and it was delicious just an hour later as an after school snack.  The monkeys will attest to this.)

Now, for those of you who wondered about the reviews on the chocolate birthday cake from the last post, well, it was good.  It was chocolate cake.  

The buttercream was delicious if risky (did ya catch that raw egg yolk in there?  Yeah, risky with the population that lives here at Chez Crazy House)....we lived, and we enjoyed it.  But it comes down to this.  That cake was still chocolate cake. Ike loved it, I was not impressed.  My take = meh.  it wasn't anything I'd bother to make again.  

Now, as for the brownies I made to send on to the Mexican Independence Day celebration-- they were in a class of goodness all to themselves.   More on that next time. :)