More wine and family please

So, I started this blog and called it bread wine and family. Mostly because of the religious significance of bread and wine and community in my mind, but also because hey-- it was going to talk about food, and family.  Here's what I think now though.  There should be more wine in this blog.

Today I posted something into a message on facebook that ended up being more of a deal than I thought it would.   In the end, a dear friend who loves me, in their desire to help me, wounded me greatly, and they'll never know that unless they read it here (which I doubt).  But it led me to this thought.  I don't have a lot of outlets for the incredible amount of stress I am under.  And my drug of choice is food.  And I am mostly ok with that.  I also like to relieve stress by spending time on line and reading a good book or magazine to be honest.  And occasionally knitting something or crocheting, painting, sewing, quilting, wood carving, shooting an air pistol, archery, sculpting, writing and just screwing around.
Those things help me relieve stress, feel like my real self, and make me a better person really.

Right now though.  I have no time for this stuff. Even this blog entry will make me feel tremendously guilty at the end of the day.  God forbid I take the time to meditate or take a bath even.  Dear God.  My life is ridiculous and I KNOW THAT!!  I don't need a critique of it.  That isn't even a little helpful.
What I want is time.  I really really want time. Time with family.  Time to read. Time to repair friendships. Time to have a meal that doesn't feel rushed.  And everytime I get 5 minutes of fun in a day-- I feel guilty about that time, and I am sick of that.  I want more time and time I don't have to feel bad about.
I want to care less about what other people think.
I want to do all sorts of cool things in DC. But that takes TIME!
 I want to go see the newseum.  Go into the Washington Monument. Wander every art museum for a whole day. Go to the park with my kids. Take Isaac to the American History Museum, take Max to the Mall and walk around.  I want to sleep next to my husband 5 nights a week (really, more than two would be great).
I want to see the Cherry Blossoms this spring.  I want to go visit Vineyards in Virginia and Maryland and do wine tours.  I want time dammit!!! And I want to know more about wine and I want to enjoy a glass of it now and then.  I want there to be more time for wine and family in my life.  I would like to go enjoy a glass right now...

I am sorry to have whined... but really.. I want more wine please.  
thanks...
Love,
the "half-life" tired spirit that currently is: jacquie